Mr. Creatovsky
Finding another door to the heart
Because You Were Here
August 2025
I made this album because I believe friendships contain some of the most beautiful facets of life. They are chosen connections that transform us in ways we never see coming, until one day we realize we've become someone different, someone more ourselves than we ever were alone.
These songs emerged from a few of such friendships. Rare bonds that shaped me in ways I will carry for the rest of my life. They tell the story of being seen so completely that you discover parts of yourself you didn't know existed. Of finding someone whose mind moves at your exact frequency. Of the terrifying joy when someone walks through your chaos with ease and calls it home.
Is this vulnerable? Yes. But the moment we armor ourselves, we lose what makes connection possible: the courage to show up as we truly are. Truth requires exposure. Beauty demands risk.
This album celebrates bonds that have no function, and that's exactly their function. Like art, like music, like poetry, friendship exists for the sheer wonder of existence. It needs no justification beyond the color it brings to ordinary Tuesday evenings, the laughter over coffee about nothing, the silent understanding across a crowded room.
These songs map the geography of connection: the safety of being known, the ache of distance, the strange grief of missing not just someone else but the self you were in their presence. They explore how some people don't just pass through your life; they become part of your inner architecture, changing how you see yourself forever.
For those who found their truest self in someone else's eyes.
For those who carry another's belief in their voice.
For those who know that friendship can be both anchor and flight.
For those who understand that "I miss you" sometimes means "I miss who I am with you."
This is my thank-you letter to the space between souls where transformation happens. To the ones who see us so clearly that we finally see ourselves.
Some stories can only be told with your whole heart.
Wouter van der Toorn a.k.a. Mr. Creatovsky
Lyrics Because You Were Here
You cannot see yourself...
Not really.
Stand before any mirror,
and all you'll find is light reflecting back,
a surface showing what you think you know.
But then... someone looks at you.
Really looks.
And suddenly there you are,
flickering into focus.
In their eyes, you discover
the variety of your laughter,
the weight of your words,
the way you move through the world
without knowing you were dancing.
Some gazes... they cut deep.
Make you want to disappear,
crawl inside yourself and hide.
Others... they lift you,
show you heights you never imagined,
whisper: "Yes, you belong here.
Yes, you matter.
Yes, you can."
This is why we need each other -
not just for company,
but for recognition.
To be seen... truly seen...
and in that seeing, to finally see ourselves.
I wish you will find people on your path
who help you discover
who you are when you're brave enough to be it.
Who show you the person you didn't know you could become.
Because in the end,
we are all mirrors for each other,
reflecting back the light we need to find our way.
[Verse 1]
We share no blood, we share no name
No childhood home, no family frame
But something deeper tied our souls
Two separate parts that make a whole
[Verse 2]
We found each other unexpectedly
No blueprint for this chemistry
We found a word that almost fits
This nameless bond that just exists
[Chorus]
Call us brother, sister, friend
Words that try but don't quite blend
With what we are, with what we've been
Too deep for language to contain
[Verse 3]
You crawled beneath my armored skin
(Without permission, wandered in)
And made a home inside my head
(Where no one else would dare to tread)
[Bridge]
If I could choose my family tree
I'd graft your branch right next to me
No explanation, no excuse
Just souls that found their deepest use
[Final Chorus]
More than brother, sister, friend
Something words can't comprehend
Two souls that touch but never merge
Dancing on that sacred verge
[Outro]
The one I chose, who chose me too
The closest stranger I ever knew
[Verse 1]
The door cracked open, just a tiny bit
You peered inside and found that it all fit
Slowly I let you see what lived within
The place where all my wilder thoughts begin
[Chorus]
You held the key to everything I hide
You walked with ease through chaos deep inside
You knew the jokes before I'd make them clear
The only mind that moved as fast as mine here
[Verse 2]
I said "So that you'll know" and meant it true
I wanted every secret shared with you
You never stumbled when my thinking raced
You caught each reference, every thought I traced
[Chorus]
You held the key to everything I hide
You walked with ease through chaos deep inside
You knew the jokes before I'd make them clear
The only mind that moved as fast as mine here
[Bridge]
In friendship's fire I was slowly made
Each conversation, every word we weighed
You shaped me without knowing what you'd done
Two souls becoming more than they'd begun
[Verse 3]
The way I see the world, the way I write
The depth I find in ordinary sight
All bear your mark though years have passed us by
I am who I am because you saw inside
[Chorus]
You held the key to everything I hide
You walked with ease through chaos deep inside
You knew the jokes before I'd make them clear
The only mind that moved as fast as mine here
[Verse 4]
When people ask me who I think I am
I smile because I know you'd understand
That question holds a story we both know
Of how two minds can help each other grow
[Final Chorus]
You held the key to everything I hide
You walked with ease through chaos deep inside
I am who I am because you were here
The truest friend my restless mind held dear
[Spoken Word]
I used to think that safety came from walls,
from keeping distance, playing careful parts.
But real protection isn't found in armor—
it lives between two open hearts.
They say the longing comes so quickly,
but friendship... friendship takes its time.
It cannot bloom in silence or in secret—
it needs two souls who recognize their rhyme.
You weren't assigned to me by nature,
I chose you from a thousand passing souls.
And in that choosing, found what I'd been missing:
a place where I could finally be whole.
[Verse 1]
The world calls friendship useless, like a symphony
No survival value in this sympathy
But some things matter because they're beautiful
Not because they keep us safe or dutiful
[Verse 2]
To live without a witness to your days
Is dying in a thousand little ways
So here we are, two witnesses who stand
With no agenda, no ulterior plan
[Chorus]
This is the space without fear
Where masks dissolve and disappear
Where I can fail and still be whole
Where you can read my naked soul
This is the space we chose to create
No accident of birth or fate
Just two minds who found what they hold dear
In this sacred space without fear
[Verse 3]
You laugh at darkness that would terrify
Another soul who doesn't know my why
We speak in codes that worry those outside
But in our strange vernacular, we confide
[Bridge]
"Because it was you, because it was me"
No logic to this mystery
No reason needed, no excuse to give
Just recognition: with you, I live
[Verse 4]
They warn that love will always bring us pain
That caring deeply drives a person insane
I'd rather be wounded, rather risk it all
Than never know this friendship's sacred call
[Final Chorus]
This is the space without fear
Where jealousy can't interfere
Where being known becomes our art
Where friendship crowns the human heart
Without this bond, what would life be?
Just empty possibility
Two souls who chose what they hold dear
This precious space without fear
[Outro]
Every love has its own art...
And ours is knowing where to start:
With naked souls, prepared to see
That you are you, and I am me.
[Verse 1]
You don't ask me to be different
Don't need me to be more or less
Just talking over coffee about nothing
Is all the purpose friendship needs, I guess
[Verse 2]
We don't improve each other's lives
In ways that anyone can measure
But friendship needs no higher goal
Than being its own kind of treasure
[Chorus]
This useless beautiful thing we have
No contracts signed, no chains to bear
You're free to go, I'm free to stay
Yet here we are, year after year
This useless beautiful thing we made
Like music floating through the air
No reason but the joy itself
Of knowing someone truly cares
[Verse 3]
I love the way we're different
You're late night while I'm early dawn
I hold my words, you can't stop talking
Yet you know without me saying when something's wrong
[Verse 4]
When others hold you close, I smile
No jealousy invades this space
True friendship sets the heart at ease
Gives everyone their rightful place
[Bridge]
We're like two trees that grow beside each other
Roots may touch but branches reach their own way
Neither one needs to become the other
Both more beautiful for choosing to stay
[Final Chorus]
This useless beautiful thing we share
Like poetry that feeds no one
Just exists because it must exist
Like rain, like stars, like morning sun
This useless beautiful gift we are
Two souls who learned that love means space
The art of being close but free
The rarest, simplest grace
[Outro]
Thank you for not needing me to change
Thank you for this useless beautiful exchange
[Verse 1]
We never needed passports for the places we could go
Just paper, pen, and stories that would help our friendship grow
With words we built the islands where we'd walk along the shore
And sailed across the oceans to the lands worth living for
[Verse 2]
We wandered through the fjords beneath the Nordic evening sky
And watched the northern lights dance as the winter nights went by
You showed me how the poets never have to stay in one place
We'd travel through the centuries, through time and into space
[Chorus (whispered reflection)]
We could live a thousand lives and more
In every tale we'd write and then explore
We could live a thousand lives, it's true
As long as I was writing them with you
[Verse 3]
We mapped out distant kingdoms from a coffee shop downtown
Built castles made of sentences that never could fall down
The world became our canvas when we learned to write it all
No limits to the places where our characters could fall
[Chorus (whispered reflection)]
We could live a thousand lives and more
In every tale we'd write and then explore
We could live a thousand lives, it's true
As long as I was writing them with you
[Verse 4]
Though now those pages gather dust, I still believe it's true
That writers live forever in the worlds that they pursue
And somewhere in a story that we'll never get to write
We're still there by the fjords, watching northern dancing light
[Final Chorus (whispered)]
We could live a thousand lives and more
In every tale we'd write and then explore
We could live a thousand lives, it's true
As long as I was writing them with you
[Verse 1]
There was a morning, crystal cold and white
When frozen paths reflected winter's light
We walked in silence through the abbey ground
Where time itself seemed slowed without a sound
[Chorus]
If I could live a thousand years right there
In that one moment, breathing winter air
If I could live a thousand years, I'd choose
That perfect second I was scared to lose
[Verse 2]
The world had never felt so still before
Our breath made clouds that danced and then no more
You moved beside me through the icy maze
And I was frightened by these perfect days
[Verse 3]
The garden held us in its frozen spell
A secret neither of us dared to tell
That closeness scared me more than being alone
Yet felt like finally coming home
[Chorus]
If I could live a thousand years right there
In that one moment, breathing winter air
If I could live a thousand years, I'd choose
That perfect second I was scared to lose
[Verse 4]
Now when the cold wind cuts right through my coat
I close my eyes and we are walking slow
Through cloistered paths where winter roses sleep
And warmth lives on, too precious now to keep
[Final Chorus]
If I could live a thousand years right there
In that one moment, breathing winter air
If I could live a thousand years, I'd stay
Forever walking through that perfect day
[Verse 1]
It happened once without a warning sign
A single second stretched beyond all time
The world stood still, the noise just fell away
And everything made sense that day
[Verse 2]
Inside that breath lived every answered prayer
Complete and whole, no questions anywhere
I knew my name, I knew that I was known
For one brief moment, I was home
[Chorus]
One second held eternity
One heartbeat, perfect clarity
Then gone before I understood
That fleeting glimpse of all that's good
[Verse 3]
I've chased that second through a thousand days
I talked, I wrote, I prayed in endless ways
But heaven can't be summoned or controlled
You only know it's been there when it's gone
[Bridge]
Was it real?
Was it there?
That perfect peace
Beyond compare?
[Chorus]
One second held eternity
One heartbeat, perfect clarity
And still I wait with open hands
For what I'll never understand
[Chorus]
One second held eternity
One heartbeat, perfect clarity
And still I wait with open hands
For what I'll never understand
[Outro]
One second... was enough
One second... was enough
[Verse 1]
You lived inside your corner of the world
Book in hand, knees to your chest all curled
Sometimes our eyes would meet across the space
But mostly you were in your secret place
[Verse 2]
That little spot you made completely yours
With tea gone cold while reading for hours
I try to catch that image in my mind
But every day it's harder now to find
[Chorus]
What color were your eyes again?
Brown or green or grey like rain?
How long until I can't pretend
I still can see you at the end?
The quiet fade, the quiet fade
Of everything that wouldn't stay
[Verse 3]
You'd slip into your secret world alone
Where colors sang in some forgotten tone
I'd try to follow where your mind would go
But now which smile you wore I do not know
[Verse 4]
Did dimples frame the laughter that you shared?
Did your eyes sparkle or just softly stared?
The details that I thought I knew by heart
Are leaving me, they're falling apart
[Chorus]
What color were your eyes again?
Brown or green or grey like rain?
How long until I can't pretend
I still can see you at the end?
The quiet fade, the quiet fade
Of everything that wouldn't stay
[Bridge]
I close my eyes and try to see you reading there
Try to catch the way you'd say my name with care
But every day you're fading like the morning mist
Another precious detail that I somehow missed
How did I not memorize all this?
[Final Chorus]
What color were your eyes again?
I swear I knew them yesterday
How long before they fade away?
How long until I can't pretend?
The quiet fade, the quiet fade
Of everything that couldn't stay
[Outro]
I'll place you underneath that tree
With your book across your knee
And when the details disappear
I'll know that you were here
[Verse 1]
Seven hundred songs and counting in my phone
Each one speaks the words I couldn't find alone
This one captures what I meant to say that day
That one holds the feelings that won't fade away
[Verse 2]
Here's the track that tastes like coffee break confessions
There's the one that captures lunchtime walk obsessions
My playlist is a Tardis spinning through the years
Each song drops me right back into all those feels and fears
[Chorus]
Seven hundred ways to say your name
Seven hundred matches to this flame
My playlist is a diary in sound
Of all the words I never found
Each track a different shade of missing you
Seven hundred songs that pull me through
[Verse 3]
Found a song that says exactly what I can't
The singer speaks my truth without the fear to rant
I write a novel just to frame this perfect phrase
But delete it all, not sure you want to hear these days
[Bridge]
Track seventeen: "The song I meant for you"
Track ninety-four: "Deep waters, swimming through"
Track three-sixty-five: "A year of missing this"
Track seven hundred: "Unintended bliss"
[Chorus]
Seven hundred ways to say your name
Seven hundred matches to this flame
My playlist is a diary in sound
Of all the words I never found
Each track a different shade of missing you
Seven hundred songs that pull me through
[Outro]
Found another song, now seven hundred one
This secret soundtrack's never really done
No one else will hear what's in my head
Seven hundred one things left unsaid
[Verse 1]
If I could map the distance between souls
I'd need a universe to reach my goals
Between where you exist and where I stand
Too far to touch, too close to understand
[Verse 2]
I'd cross the Milky Way to reach your door
Navigate through space forevermore
Through all the distance keeping us apart
To find the pathway back into your heart
[Chorus]
I've packed my bags and left tonight
Chasing stars at speed of light
To the edge of everything I know
Just to watch your sunset glow
[Verse 3]
The stories that we traded late at night
Now drift between our worlds in endless flight
While life spins on in circles where we are
Two satellites who shared a single star
[Bridge]
It's about the ordinary things we share
The random texts that show we care
It's simpler than the poets make it seem
Just wanting you within my daily stream
[Final Chorus]
Closer than the stars permit
Closer than our lives can fit
I'd travel to the edge of night
Just to catch you in my sight
Just to sit where you have been
Just to breathe the air you're in
[Outro]
The universe is vast and wide
(But you're just on the other side)
The universe is vast and wide
(But you're just on the other side)
[Verse 1]
I lost something precious, couldn't find it anywhere
Searched through every pocket, underneath each chair
Packed my bags one morning, said goodbye to all I knew
Had to find my treasure, out there in the blue
[Chorus]
Round and round the world I go
Through the rain and through the snow
Every door I'm knocking on
Looking for what I thought was gone
Dancing through the streets of Rome
Never knowing I should just go home
[Verse 2]
Sailed across the oceans, climbed the mountains high
Asked the wise men questions, watched the eagles fly
Opened ancient boxes, peeked behind each door
Still my hands were empty, still I wanted more
[Spoken Word Bridge]
I wandered through the Sahara where the sand tells ancient tales
Asked the monks on Mount Athos where the holy grail still dwells
Searched the fish markets of Tsukiji at the break of dawn
Met a shaman in Oaxaca who said my luck had gone
Danced with street kids in favelas high above Rio's lights
Sat with Bedouins in Jordan through a thousand starlit nights
An old woman in Marrakech read the lines upon my palm
Said "Young man, you're far from home" - but I just wandered on
[Verse 3]
Years went by like heartbeats, silver in my hair
Weary from the journey, found no treasure anywhere
Till one night I'm dreaming of my doorstep worn and old
And a voice keeps whispering of a story left untold
[Chorus]
Round and round the world I went
Every penny that I spent
Every door I knocked upon
Looking for what wasn't gone...
[Verse 4]
Home I went with nothing but the lessons from the road
Lifted up my doormat, dusty from the years it showed
There beneath the threshold lay the thing I'd searched so long
The treasure of a lifetime had been home where I belong
[Final Chorus]
Round and round the world I went
Every penny that I spent
Every door I knocked upon
Looking for what wasn't gone
Danced through all the streets of Rome
Just to find my treasure home
[Verse 1]
It finds me when my walls are wearing thin
No invitation sent, it just walks in
A thin black veil that settles on my chest
And suddenly I can't remember rest
[Verse 2]
The world turns grey, the food has lost its taste
The mirror shows a stranger's hollow face
Words feel like stones too heavy for my tongue
The simplest tasks leave me undone
[Chorus]
When the black mist comes to stay
Color bleeds from every day
I sit and wait, I sit and wait
For the sun that's always late
[Verse 3]
They say to fight, to run, to medicate
But sometimes all you can do is just wait
Let the darkness have its say
Tomorrow is another day
[Bridge]
And somewhere past the fog I know
The world still turns, the rivers flow
This visitor will leave again
I've survived this once, I will again
[Final Chorus]
When the black mist comes to call
I've learned to let the darkness fall
I sit and breathe, I sit and breathe
And trust what I cannot believe
[Outro]
The sun will rise...
The sun will rise...
Even if I can't yet see the sky
[Verse 1]
There was a spark that lit my dormant mind
A voice that helped the hidden words unwind
The kind of connection poets try to chase
Now faded like a smile without a face
[Verse 2]
You drew the artist from his hiding place
Made thoughts worth sharing with uncommon grace
The world felt sharper when you were around
Now muffled like a barely audible sound
[Chorus]
I miss myself... the one I was back then
I miss the fire that burned inside my pen
I miss myself... though it might sound strange
But losing you meant everything would change
[Verse 3]
I search for traces of the man I knew
Who came alive in conversations true
The one who laughed at things nobody saw
Who found his voice without a single flaw
[Chorus]
I miss myself... the one I was back then
I miss the fire that burned inside my pen
I miss myself... though it might sound strange
But losing you meant everything would change
[Verse 4]
Perhaps it's selfish how I miss those days
When being me felt natural, not a phase
But some souls teach us who we're meant to be
And mine forgot when you stopped seeing me
[Chorus]
I miss myself... the one I was back then
I miss the fire that burned inside my pen
I miss myself... though it might sound strange
But losing you meant everything would change
Now I understand...
When you looked at me,
you didn't just show me who I was—
you showed me who I could become.
And though you're not there all the time,
something has changed.
I carry your seeing in my eyes now.
I carry your belief in my voice.
The mirror still shows the same face,
but behind it lives someone different.
Someone who learned that being seen
leaves marks that never fade.
I am still here...
because you were here.
And maybe that's enough.
Maybe that's everything.
Braincity Blues EP / July 2025
Braincity Blues is a blues-rooted journey through the storm of the modern mind. Wouter van der Toorn weaves six intimate, poetic tracks through heartbreak, insomnia, grief and spiritual seeking. From the neon-lit corridors of Heartbreak Hotel to the quiet breath of Soulcity Passage, this EP moves like a sleepless night: chaotic, tender, and full of unexpected light.
Lyrics Braincity Blues EP
[Verse 1]
Welcome to my Braincity, it's busy day and night
The traffic never stops here and there's no green light in sight
The mayor's in his chamber trying hard to keep control
But when the thoughts start racing, they just overwhelm my soul
[Chorus]
I've got the Braincity Blues, it's chaos in my head
A thousand conversations that should never have been said
But down in the arts quarter, that's where magic comes alive
In my chaotic city, that's the place where I can thrive
[Verse 2]
There's a Heartbreak Hotel standing on the corner square
Where lovers become strangers and they vanish in thin air
At three AM the engines still are roaring through the night
The city planner wonders if he'll ever get it right
[Chorus]
I've got the Braincity Blues, it's chaos in my head
A thousand conversations that should never have been said
But down in the arts quarter, that's where magic comes alive
In my chaotic city, that's the place where I can thrive
[Verse 3]
The locals know the hidden spots where silence can be found
Those cozy little corners where you barely hear a sound
When sensory explosion makes you want to run and hide
You need a friend who knows the way to take you for a ride
[Verse 4]
So here's to my Braincity with its blessings and its pain
Sometimes it feels like sunshine, sometimes nothing but the rain
The infrastructure's crumbling but we're building something new
And through this urban madness, I found my way to you
[Final Chorus]
I've got the Braincity Blues, it's chaos in my head
A thousand conversations that should never have been said
But down in the arts quarter, that's where magic comes alive
In my chaotic city, that's the place where I can thrive
Yeah, my chaotic city, that's the place where I'm alive
© 2025 | Wouter van der Toorn & Mr. Creatovsky
[Verse 1]
There's a place inside my mind where nobody wants to go
Behind an unmarked door where neon lights burn low
The guests check in at midnight with their bags of pain
Looking for a room to hide from love's cold rain
[Verse 2]
The bellhop's got a thousand keys for broken hearts
Each room contains a memory that tears apart
The elevator's stuck between what was and what could be
While ghosts play poker in the lobby, wild and free
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel
Where every lost soul rings the bell
They're checking in with nowhere else to go
Drowning in the undertow
Once you're here, you never leave
That's the curse of those who grieve
[Verse 3]
New visitors are careful walking through these halls
They've heard the whispered stories bouncing off the walls
Management stays wary after all that came before
So many broken promises behind each door
[Verse 4]
Sometimes I'm the mayor walking through at three AM
Looking for forgiveness from the souls that I condemn
The vacancy sign flickers but it's just for show
This hotel's always fully booked with broken souls in tow
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel
Where every lost soul rings the bell
They're checking in with nowhere else to go
Drowning in the undertow
Once you're here, you never leave
That's the curse of those who grieve
[Final Chorus]
Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel
Where every lost soul rings the bell
They're checking in with nowhere else to go
Drowning in the undertow
Once you're here, you never leave
That's the curse, that's what I believe
© 2025 | Wouter van der Toorn & Mr. Creatovsky
[Verse 1]
There's a door inside my soul that I keep forever closed
Behind it lies a world of things that nobody else knows
I pass it in the hallway but I never slow my pace
'Cause what's behind that door is more than I can face
[Verse 2]
The words I never said out loud are piled up on the floor
The faces of the ones I lost are pressed against the door
Their whispers seep through every crack, they call me by my name
But I just walk on by because the hurt remains the same
[Chorus]
Behind that door inside my soul
Lies everything I can't control
All the grief too hard to face the light
Locked away both day and night
Behind that door inside my soul
Lives the pain that won't let go
All the love that never found its place
All the tears I can't erase
[Verse 3]
Sometimes late at night I hear them scratching at the door
The ghosts behind it want to walk among me like before
But I don't have the courage yet to face what waits inside
So I just turn the music up and drown out how they cry
[Bridge]
Maybe I should turn the key and open
Let the shadows meet the light of day
Maybe that's what healing really means
That you let the demons out to play
[Chorus]
Behind that door inside my soul
Lies everything I can't control
All the grief too hard to face the light
Locked away both day and night
Behind that door inside my soul
Lives the pain that won't let go
All the love that never found its place
All the tears I can't erase
[Final Verse]
There's a door inside my soul, I've guarded it for years
But all these ghosts I'm keeping fed are drowning me in tears
The time has come to break the seal and let the shadows breathe
'Cause only when you face your pain can you begin to grieve
© 2025 | Wouter van der Toorn & Mr. Creatovsky
[Verse 1]
The world is screaming in my ears, the news won't let me be
My phone keeps buzzing endlessly with everyone's emergency
The traffic in my head's so loud I cannot hear my voice
So I retreat into the place where I can make a choice
[Verse 2]
There's a place inside my soul that no one else can find
Where all the noise just fades away and I can clear my mind
The storm can rage outside these walls but cannot touch me here
Inside my sanctuary where the vision becomes clear
[Chorus]
Let me wander in my inner world
Where the chaos can't get in
Let me breathe inside my sacred space
Where the silence lives within
When the storm gets too intense out there
I know where I can hide
In my sanctuary, my sanctuary
Deep inside
[Verse 3]
They say I'm running from the world, that I should face the pain
But sometimes you need shelter when you're drowning in the rain
So I make no apologies for needing this retreat
Without this quiet corner, I would crumble in defeat
[Bridge]
Here... in the stillness...
I remember who I am
Here... in the silence...
I don't need to give a damn
[Chorus]
Let me wander in my inner world
Where the chaos can't get in
Let me breathe inside my sacred space
Where the silence lives within
When the storm gets too intense out there
I know where I can hide
In my sanctuary, my sanctuary
Deep inside
[Final Verse]
The storm will always find me when I venture out again
But now I know the secret path back to my quiet den
So let the world keep screaming, let the madness have its day
Inside my sanctuary, I will always be okay
© 2025 | Wouter van der Toorn & Mr. Creatovsky
[Verse 1]
It's 3 AM and I'm awake, the world outside is still
But inside here the traffic flows, against my weary will
Did I lock the door tonight? Tomorrow's list runs through
That book I read, that game I played, that thing I meant to do
[Verse 2]
Should I find another job? Am I in love with her?
Why haven't I called my old friend? The thoughts begin to blur
Next summer's vacation plans are swirling in my head
Mixed with guilty feelings about things I never said
[Chorus]
Night traffic in my brain
Round and round and round again
Some thoughts clear, some thoughts strange
In the night traffic lane
Can't find the exit ramp
From this mental highway camp
Night traffic in my brain
Keeping me awake again
[Verse 3]
Sometimes a brilliant idea comes floating through the mess
Between the grocery lists and all that daily stress
But mostly it's just noise and static filling up my head
A thousand tiny questions when I should be in bed
[Verse 4]
The clock keeps ticking onwards while my mind keeps racing fast
Through future possibilities and echoes from the past
I know I need to sleep but still the traffic won't slow down
Just another restless night here in my mental town
[Chorus]
Night traffic in my brain
Round and round and round again
Some thoughts clear, some thoughts strange
In the night traffic lane
Can't find the exit ramp
From this mental highway camp
Night traffic in my brain
Keeping me awake again
© 2025 | Wouter van der Toorn & Mr. Creatovsky
[Verse 1]
There's a secret passage hidden in the chaos of my mind
Leading from the traffic to a place that's hard to find
Angels dressed in blue jeans took my hand and showed the way
Angels dressed in monk robes lit a candle where I'd pray
[Verse 2]
Some I didn't recognize until they'd passed me by
Guardian angels in disguise who never said goodbye
Searching for that inner peace despite the raging storm
Looking for the sacred core where my true self is born
[Chorus]
Take me down to Soulcity
Where the mind can't reach the heart
Where the journey's just beginning
Though I don't know where to start
In the cathedral of my being
I can curse and I can pray
Still searching for heaven's doorway
Maybe I'll find it someday
[Verse 3]
A friend became my compass when I couldn't see the road
She believed when I was doubting, helped me carry this load
A monk who lit a candle in the darkness of my night
Showed me faith and doubt can dance together in the light
[verse 4]
Deep beneath the surface where the silence has a name
Where the chaos cannot touch the everlasting flame
But the door to heaven's hiding somewhere in between
Walking through this passage to a place I've never seen
[Final Chorus]
Take me down to Soulcity
Where the mind can't reach the heart
Where the journey's just beginning
Though I don't know where to start
In the cathedral of my being
I can curse and I can pray
Still searching for heaven's doorway
Maybe I'll find it someday
Still searching for heaven's doorway
But I'm learning that's okay
© 2025 | Wouter van der Toorn & Mr. Creatovsky
